* * * *
*   *  
* * * * *
* Lofty Find

Sorting through the loft in their Hackney masionette, newly-weds Dwayne and Debbie Plunge thought they'd find the usual loft bound junk - old suitcases, boxes of fluff, and perhaps a few stale turds. But hidden among piles of leaves and dust was a blue yellow box, filled with long-lost childhood photographs of famous mountaineer Lionel Left (pictured above).

Left, who passed away in 1980 following an accident involving an egg, a set of spanners and a rather loud shout, was the first person to scale Mount Thatsabigun in Rutland, Leicestershire, during which he sustained cuts and bruises to both elbows and several nasty patches of dry skinabout his person.

He later went on to pursue a checkered career in politics, during which time he spoon fed Betty Boothroyd flour, who is currently serving time for arson, and campaigned for the re-introduction of the death penalty for sweet theiving children (bastards).

Close relative Gina 'Bearded' Jones, third cousin twice removed to the East End gangster, Charles 'Poppy' Fangle, wept as she remembered Left;

'Me and Lie used to spend hours burning toast, bubble-wrapping goats and rubbing concrete into our gums. Seeing them pictures brought it flooding back.'

Many of the photographs were badly damaged by years of pounding from animal hooves, but builders Chucky End and Daniel Cup managed to salvage the majority by bashing them with a hammer. Dwayne Plunge has agreed to donate the photographs to the British Museum, where they are to be displayed in the 'Chaps Who Made It Up Darned Big Hills' exhibition, from Jan 2006.


Dan Wellie Up For It
Jesus Christ!
C-list X-men
The Random Pic Vaults

Bookmark this page
Keep coming back
Spread the word!!!
celebrate some of the classics that have come and gone...
Download your very own horsearse desktop background
Links galore to be found in Jimmy's Magic Box